4Chan FAQ

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Social Networks - Thursday, April 15th, 2010

"What is a 'newfag'?"

What you are if you need to read this FAQ.

"I resent that! That's insulting!"

Get used to it. 4Chan is many things, but polite is not one of them. 4Chan long ago passed the point of consideration for manners, and now rude flames are the normal way to discourse. Things like "Die in a fire, you butthurt spunkmopper!" are how 4Channers say 'good morning.' When you start out, you're a 'newfag,' everybody senior to you is an 'oldfag,' anybody who goes to /b/ is a '/b/tard,' women are to proudly wear the title 'cumdumpsters,' and so on. It takes a few days, and then you're used to it.

"Alright, alright. What is 'sauce'?"

A troll phrase. Originally it was a request for the source of an image, mis-typed as 'sauce' because that's just the kind of thing that never stops being hilarious. But then it became the magic word that meant "This conversation is going way too smoothly for my liking; I shall scream 'SAAAAUUUUCE!!!!' in it until the very last drop of sanity is wrung from the brains of all concerned and everybody flees for another thread. Then I will laugh and follow them and do it again." Even some of the oldest oldfags have forgotten what 'sauce' originally meant.

"Who is this guy who's always shown pointing to something, next to a 'check out my doubles' post?"

We'll never know. It's just one of those memes. This is the kind that just keeps getting funnier because nobody thought it was funny in the first place. They even quit showing the full post number on 4Chan just to try to stop it. So now people post it anyway, because that'll show them!

"Wait, I just found something in the rules. It says 'The quality of posts is extremely important to this community. Contributors are encouraged to provide high-quality images and informative comments.'"

Ha ha ha! Yes, I know! That's a riot, isn't it? We do that so we can catch newfags unawares.

"Every now and then I see some reference to somebody being 'banned.' Given the behavior that doesn't get you banned, what in the hell did the banned user do?"

Probably something that qualifies as a violation of the Geneva convention, international nuclear weapons bans, acts of terrorism, serial killing, that sort of thing.

"What do all these Japanese words mean?"

Cartoon porn.

"Ooooooh-kay. There's about 200 different Japanese words being batted around."

They're all cartoon porn. You know how the Eskimos have 13 words for 'snow?' The Japanese have 200 words for 'drawings of naked people engaging in horrendous, kinky sex acts that would make you throw up just to know they exist.'

"Why is the random board called '/b/'? Shouldn't it be /r/ instead?"

The 'b' in 'brandom' is pronounced silently.

"What the heck is a triforce?"

Something newfags can't do. It's a magic spell that you type into your keyboard to gain wizard level.

"What the hell is The Game?"

It's a game you play where the object is to never think of the game.

"Thanks! That sounds easy to play."

You're welcome. By the way, you just lost The Game.


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