Here’s some little reminders I’m jotting down (what else are blogs for?) as reminders of what not to do in the future.
#1. When notifying someone of tragic news by email, be sure your font is set to something besides Comic Sans-Serif bold. It just doesn’t look right.
#2. Do not use LOLCATS jokes in real-life. Most people still don’t know about them yet. Ordering your lunch at the drive-through window with “I C4n H4z CHEEzburGER?”, for instance.
#3. When you’re at an Internet cafe or other public-access point and you spot someone having a Blue Screen day, do not burst into laughter as you walk by because you run a Linux box at home that has an uptime measured in years. Even if it really, truly is funny.
#4. Quit being surprised every time you hear about a new sex fetish you’ve never heard of. Get used to the fact that the human race, currently at 6.3 billion, has 6.3 billion ways to enjoy sex, and some of those ways will involve crowbars, magnetic coils, slugs, Care Bears, Michael Jackson, mortar shells, balloons, and cake frosting. Sometimes even all at the same time.
#5. If someone remarks to me in a forum that they are a MSCE (Microsoft Certified Engineer), do not respond with sympathy and a link to McDonalds.com, saying that they’re hiring. This used to be funny, until McDonald’s informed me that they were offended.
#6. “I eat mine plain.” is not an appropriate response when somebody in a domestic forum asks what I think about there being so many battered women in the world.
#7. Google doesn’t like it when you use it to search for Google. There’s a limit to how patient even a machine can be.
#8. When people chastise my spelling and grammar, I should correct it. Pointing out “But it’s pretty good for typing with my elbows!” is irrelevant.
OK, that’s doing my part to make it a more polite Internet. What are some of yours?
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