iPhone death - sooner than predicted.

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Apple and MacOS - Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

iPhones are the latest technology, and created more hype on release than perhaps the last Harry Potter book did (and unless you live under a rock you were probably besieged by throngs of Harry Potter fans dressed in Hogwarts gear rushing to their local bookstores) which means they’re really big. They’re also kind of evil. The purchase of an iPhone locks the purchaser into all kinds of phone and Internet plans, and has even been rumored to steal a soul or two here and there.

Luckily there are those among us who weren’t afraid to do battle with the evil that Apple has unleashed upon the world, and after purchasing their iPhones, promptly destroyed them for the fun and enjoyment of all concerned. Sure, this was twenty seconds of fun with a $500 price tag, but the human soul is always up for sadistic pleasures, and what could possibly be more fun than destroying something that so many millions crave to have?

The pioneers of iPhone destruction decided to put their iPhone in a blender. The results can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg1ckCkm8YI

Here are some guys breaking open an iPhone, and violating it repeatedly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy20b7pCcrY

Is he breaking it, or just “opening” it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgSJxSjkBwQ

And a pre-smashed iPhone for your enjoyment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa8eTkIwG38

It’s so delightfully counter culture to break iPhones, though admittedly, it’s pretty damned insane to actually buy one. The only possible reason I can come up with for the iPhone’s unprecedented and unwarranted popularity is that Apple has daemons working in the Marketing and Advertising department. Minions of the dark over lord himself who are bending people to their will one cute device after another. First we succumbed to the iPod, now the iPhone comes to claim more lives, more souls. Whatever will be next?

I’m predicting the iTracker. A device that will download email directly to your cerebral cortex, allow you to make phone calls simply by wanting to, and that will install the Apple brand on your forehead and probably reformat your brain to Windows Vista at the same time.

Apple. The way of the future, and possibly the way to Armageddon, which will no doubt be brought to you in conjunction with AT&T, making your calls, and owning your ass.

Oh ye, i almost forgot about it… if you STILL want an iphone (for FREE) why don’t you enter my latest “Get free stuff for practically nothing but 5 minutes of your time” contest!

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