Computer Security

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Security and Prevention - Saturday, July 28th, 2007

The Internet is a dangerous place, and you should be aware of that by now. If it’s not the stalkers hunting you down through your IP, then it’s data miners stealing your personal information, or god forbid, RL burglars breaking in and taking your computer away completely. Read on to find out the best ways of keeping your pride, joy, and bringer of cyberlovers firmly in your life.

RL Safety:

Tie the damned thing down. Apple sells leashes which are the latest in both security and paranoiaware. The idea is that you attach them to your computer and then I guess to that iron D ring that everyone has in their homes, because all Mac users live in dungeons, right? No? Wow a flaw in the design, how shocking. Though the execution may leave a little something to be desired, Apple do have the right idea. Keeping your computer securely locked down is one of the best ways to make sure nobody steals it. Install several different deadlocks on your doors and windows, buy an angry Rottweiler with mommy issues, and get in a lifetime supply of hot pockets. This method is virtually assured security from the outside world.

Cyber safety:

Anyone still asking ASL is probably at least 50 and a pedophile, but that’s really the least of your worries on the Internet. People are always trying to steal your bandwidth, hack your computer, steal your personal data, and engage in various other nefarious activities. Install a firewall, virus scanner, and adware detection software. If you’re using free versions, then use several different programs, as the free versions often have holes in them. Following these basic protocols will give you a modicum of safety in most situations. If you come up against a really talented hacker, you may as well kiss your behind goodbye no matter what you have installed, luckily, most of the really talented hackers have better things to do than hit your computer and download those pics of you in the shower.

Speaking of lewd matters, probably your best free security tip is this: Stay away from the free porn sites. There’s no such thing as a free DP threesome okay? You can pick up all sorts of nasties from hanging around the X-Rated parts of the Internet. If you must go, make sure your software is up to date, and be prepared for the consequences, which could be several hours of deep system scans, and loss of data.

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3 Responses to “Computer Security”

  1. Coop search Says:

    your site can get marked as a adult site by the search engines if u use words such as those used in this post!

  2. Rea Maor Says:

    Technically yes, it can and you’re right…
    I’ll do my best to avoid it in future for my audience and my SEO quality.
    However, the Google algorithm works according to Keyword density and not a single work
    (similar to how google adsense choose ads for your site) so I doubt Google will even take it into account… but again, you’re right… thank you.

  3. SparroHawc Says:

    You’re forgetting one very important safety measure.

    DON’T, FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD AND RIGHT IN THE WORLD, USE INTERNET EXPLORER!!! It is the single most-targeted browser on the face of the planet, and it has next to no useful script-blocking. If you’re going to run around the internet visiting sites that you aren’t dead certain are safe, GET FIREFOX AND ADD NOSCRIPT TO IT! This simple precaution will save your butt from an untold number of nasties, whether they are documented or not. Learn to use NoScript, learn to love it, and learn to regain your internet freedom.

    Okay, now that I’ve spouted off a horrible sentence that makes me sound like an advertisement… Time for some buttering up. Great blog, Rea. Keep up the good work.

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