The Internet is a dangerous place, and you should be aware of that by now. If it’s not the stalkers hunting you down through your IP, then it’s data miners stealing your personal information, or god forbid, RL burglars breaking in and taking your computer away completely. Read on to find out the best ways of keeping your pride, joy, and bringer of cyberlovers firmly in your life.
Tie the damned thing down. Apple sells leashes which are the latest in both security and paranoiaware. The idea is that you attach them to your computer and then I guess to that iron D ring that everyone has in their homes, because all Mac users live in dungeons, right? No? Wow a flaw in the design, how shocking. Though the execution may leave a little something to be desired, Apple do have the right idea. Keeping your computer securely locked down is one of the best ways to make sure nobody steals it. Install several different deadlocks on your doors and windows, buy an angry Rottweiler with mommy issues, and get in a lifetime supply of hot pockets. This method is virtually assured security from the outside world.
Anyone still asking ASL is probably at least 50 and a pedophile, but that’s really the least of your worries on the Internet. People are always trying to steal your bandwidth, hack your computer, steal your personal data, and engage in various other nefarious activities. Install a firewall, virus scanner, and adware detection software. If you’re using free versions, then use several different programs, as the free versions often have holes in them. Following these basic protocols will give you a modicum of safety in most situations. If you come up against a really talented hacker, you may as well kiss your behind goodbye no matter what you have installed, luckily, most of the really talented hackers have better things to do than hit your computer and download those pics of you in the shower.
Speaking of lewd matters, probably your best free security tip is this: Stay away from the free porn sites. There’s no such thing as a free DP threesome okay? You can pick up all sorts of nasties from hanging around the X-Rated parts of the Internet. If you must go, make sure your software is up to date, and be prepared for the consequences, which could be several hours of deep system scans, and loss of data.
- The Home Computer Security Glossary
- This Time, the Bad Guy is Apple
- Securing your Home Network – the least you need to know
- ZAR – Backup and Restore solution.
- Browser War (Round 2)