Embarrassing Moments In My Past Computer Geekhood

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Computers and Technology - Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

Embarrassing Moments In My Past Computer Geekhood

The first – and last – time I brought up programming languages on a date.

Writing my first BASIC program that printed my name to the screen over and over again and showing EVERYBODY.

My first time in mIRC asking everybody how to be a 1337 Haxor.

When I asked how to do something and somebody replied ‘Alt-F4’ and I fell for it.

The time I bought a “RAM upgrade” kit.

Buying Windows 95 like a week before Windows 98 came out.

Trying to listen to the noise my telephone dial-up connection made to determine what kind of connection I’d be in for.

My first time discovering that Control-Shift-u and a four digit code makes Unicode symbols, and then going around annoying the crap out of everybody with my ĿĘĘŦŠPĘĘĶ.

My first redirected visit to goatse.cx.

My first time investigating photography of feminine subjects online, and then panicking because I couldn’t shut all the LiveJasmin pop-up windows before anybody saw.

When I responded to the first Nigerian prince with a complicated money transfer problem.

The twelfth time I fell for a Rick-roll.

Writing a Python program where all the variables were named Graham, John, Eric, Terry, and Michael, and thinking I was really clever for doing so.

When I realized my first home page had had “under construction” animated gifs running for two solid months while I forgot about it.

My last month using Hotmail.

My first attempt to quit vi.

My series of Windows Paintbrush drawings, the fine artwork of the renowned-but-little-known artist, preserved forever on this 1.4 MB floppy.

Buying a USB thumbdrive that was 10 Gigabytes and thinking at last I’ll be ahead for once, and then walking past a place selling 20 Gigabyte thumbdrives on the way home.

When I wandered around for four hours before finding my very first secret area in the very first level of Doom.

The day I realized that I’d bookmarked ten times as many sites as I would ever be able to read in one lifetime, and half of them were now 404-ing because I never got back to them to see why they were so interesting that I had to bookmark them in the first place.

My first time seeing a Wikipedia page and going “This is never going to take off!”

When I put the CD-ROM in the drive upside down.

When I saw my first year’s Google ad earnings, not even enough to buy a pack of gum.

Struggling to word a question just right so AskJeeves couldn’t possibly misinterpret it.

When I downloaded a compressed archive file and nit-picked at it for twenty minutes before finally figuring out how to unzip it.

When my boss and my Flickr account met for the first time.

What are some of yours?


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One Response to “Embarrassing Moments In My Past Computer Geekhood”

  1. B. W. Lane Says:

    When I, my High School’s Student Tech Consultant and Mac Consultant (Five Mac Mini’s on the whole damn campus) opened up a PC that had been built specifically for the yearbook staff, and said “Where in the hell is the damn graphics card?”
    I had taken it out the day before in preparation for replacing it with one that would support our DTP client for the annual printing company.

    The time I took a diseased hard drive (used exclusively for music) out of my dedicated linux box at home (three hours of work, the screws were stripped, and cross-threaded) and promptly stuck it back in, threw the brand new hard drive in a bucket of water (on purpose), and somehow managed to disconnect the other hard drive.

    There was a time, right after I got my new MacBook Pro (with Snow Leopard) when I tried to use the control key in iWork, got pissed off, called Apple, and insisted that my control key WAS NOT WORKING.
    So, they happily replaced my MBP, and the next one had the same problem, but this time they told me to make an appointment at the Genius Bar. I did, and was coached on how to use the command key. I’ve been using Mac OS X since the days of Tiger.

    The time I fell for a friends BSOD screensaver. I had offered to install a distro of TeX on his Windows netbook, and he dropped it off with me before he went on vacation. This happened multiple times over the weekend, something like three, with me constantly re-installing windows from a month old backup he had given me. He noticed when he got his computer back and all of his webcam pictures were gone. When he asked why, I explained that I had gotten the blue screen of death. He nearly died laughing (and so did I) when he explained that it was just a screen saver.

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