Quotes To Show That All Programming Languages Suck

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Programming - Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

“If you’re masochistic enough to program in Ada, we’re not going to stop you.” – Matt Welsh

“Every site done in ASP that I’ve seen looks like a Compuserve home page done on a Commodore 64.” -‘Penguin’ Pete Trbovich

“The teaching of BASIC should be rated as a criminal offense: it mutilates the mind beyond recovery.” -Edsger W. Dijkstra

“A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors.” -Waldi Ravens

“There are only two things wrong with C++: The initial concept and the implementation.” -Bertrand Meyer

“A computer without COBOL and FORTRAN is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup or mustard.” -John Krueger

“The memory allocation strategy of Java can best be described in three words: Nom nom nom.” -‘Penguin’ Pete Trbovich

“Lisp has all the visual appeal of oatmeal with fingernail clippings mixed in.” -Larry Wall

“If I were chained to a bench and ‘perl’ was the only thing that could open the lock, I’d probably cut my hand off.” -Gerald Penn

“PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.” -Jon Ribbens

“Python’s syntax succeeds in combining the mistakes of Lisp and Fortran. I do not construe that as progress.” – Larry Wall

“Your favorite language sucks too – especially yours!” -‘Penguin’ Pete Trbovich


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One Response to “Quotes To Show That All Programming Languages Suck”

  1. Astra Says:

    All of the quotes are based on personal hatred of a specific programming language. I hate language advocacy. None of these professors (!) can prove their own quotes. I don’t have enough time now, to prove that all of these professors (!) are totally wrong. And there is something I have to say. Because of being short minded, many inventors of programming languages think that their programming language is the best in the world (No one dislikes his/her own baby!). Just like Larry Wall raging on Python with a foolish quote. Python’s syntax and paradigms are neither similar to Lisp nor Fortran. And the same Larry Wall is now employing “Functional Programming” (Lisp) into Perl 6. Python is a descendant of ABC which is itself a descendant of SETL.
    And to wrap up my comment, A programming language can have shortcomings and flaws in its design, syntax, typing discipline, paradigms and etc. But many programming languages are extremely good like Python, Ada, Haskell, Smalltalk, PHP (recent versions not PHP/FI 1). And I would be really glad If for example Mr Professor Matt Welsh gives me a reason about flaws in Ada (Not using cryptic and bulls**t names does not count as a valid reason).

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