It’s been a while since the last of the Star Wars movies came out (at least until Lucas’ muse gets the itch again), and yet the cult of Star Wars just keeps chugging right along. The original Star Wars was released in 1977, so it’s celebrating its 30th year. And what the heck, Star Wars and the Internet have grown up together. So now we can stand back and surmise those moments that, as a huge part of geekdom would identify with, we’d like to have back.
Hello Kitty Darth Vader – I keep trying to come up with something witty to say about it, but every time I look at it and try, my brain just screams and curls up to hide.
“Star Wars kid” – What was humiliating was the reaction to this. Who among us hasn’t clowned around with a prop while we were goofing off with friends? Yet this kid’s life was almost ruined by getting a reputation as a huge dork, right when viral videos became a phenomenon. It could have been any one of us.
The Star Wars Holiday Special – What, you didn’t see this? Huh! Call yourself a fan, do you? Well, where were you in 1978, when CBS put this extravaganza on the air? Complete with appearances by Jefferson Starship, Harvey Korman, Art Carney, Bea Arthur, and anybody else who had trouble getting a job in 1978. Introducing Chewbacca’s wife Malla, his dad Itchy, and his son Lumpy (his mom, Scratchy, didn’t make it). Wait, where are you going? There were songs!
Jar Jar – Unlike the gay Teletubby and the Bert-and-Ernie-are-gay fiasco, I actually believed the one about Jar Jar. I mean, look at him! He’s the biggest fag since Liberace’s masseuse.
The AT-AT baby stroller – because nothing says “loving mother” like putting your baby in the cockpit of a futuristic machine of death and destruction.
Peter Mayhew – This gangly, nerdy looking guy was inside the Chewbacca costume the whole time? He looks like he does table-side magic tricks at a gay bar.
Gals in Storm Trooper gear – Because nothing says, “I’m a pathetic geek who couldn’t get laid if I were reincarnated as a throw rug!” like the fact that fashion models have to dress up as futuristic super-soldiers from a science fiction movie just to get your attention.
- Things That Do Not Make You A Geek
- The Most Unpleasable Fanbases in Geekdom
- Mac vs Windows (Round 1,330,542)
- Every Monty Python Mashup on YouTube
- A Trip Through the Vintage Computer Ads