The Seven Most Humiliating Moments of Star Wars Fandom

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Humor - Sunday, November 4th, 2007

It’s been a while since the last of the Star Wars movies came out (at least until Lucas’ muse gets the itch again), and yet the cult of Star Wars just keeps chugging right along. The original Star Wars was released in 1977, so it’s celebrating its 30th year. And what the heck, Star Wars and the Internet have grown up together. So now we can stand back and surmise those moments that, as a huge part of geekdom would identify with, we’d like to have back.

Look away! Quick!

Hello Kitty Darth Vader – I keep trying to come up with something witty to say about it, but every time I look at it and try, my brain just screams and curls up to hide.

“Star Wars kid” – What was humiliating was the reaction to this. Who among us hasn’t clowned around with a prop while we were goofing off with friends? Yet this kid’s life was almost ruined by getting a reputation as a huge dork, right when viral videos became a phenomenon. It could have been any one of us.

The Star Wars Holiday Special – What, you didn’t see this? Huh! Call yourself a fan, do you? Well, where were you in 1978, when CBS put this extravaganza on the air? Complete with appearances by Jefferson Starship, Harvey Korman, Art Carney, Bea Arthur, and anybody else who had trouble getting a job in 1978. Introducing Chewbacca’s wife Malla, his dad Itchy, and his son Lumpy (his mom, Scratchy, didn’t make it). Wait, where are you going? There were songs!

Me-sa not gay, me-sa very happy!

Jar Jar – Unlike the gay Teletubby and the Bert-and-Ernie-are-gay fiasco, I actually believed the one about Jar Jar. I mean, look at him! He’s the biggest fag since Liberace’s masseuse.

The AT-AT baby stroller – because nothing says “loving mother” like putting your baby in the cockpit of a futuristic machine of death and destruction.

Peter MayhewThis gangly, nerdy looking guy was inside the Chewbacca costume the whole time? He looks like he does table-side magic tricks at a gay bar.

Hot, hot, hot storm trooper girls

Gals in Storm Trooper gear – Because nothing says, “I’m a pathetic geek who couldn’t get laid if I were reincarnated as a throw rug!” like the fact that fashion models have to dress up as futuristic super-soldiers from a science fiction movie just to get your attention.


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17 Responses to “The Seven Most Humiliating Moments of Star Wars Fandom”

  1. James Says:

    Well, two things:

    1) Hello Kitty Darth Vader is hilarious, and I’m 100% certain that it was intended to be, which makes your commentary on it as a humiliating moment humiliating for no one else but yourself.

    2) You have a fixation with gay/fag insults, you might want to expand your repertoire if you are aiming for acclaim for critical witticism in a blog format. Just a suggestion.

    Star Wars is done and done, let it go, man.

  2. gungfu Says:

    That whole article was fucking so full of cock, it makes the writer about as gay as Liberace’s pink butt plug.

    A gay Harry Knowles.

  3. m Says:

    this article sucks ass.

  4. guy Says:

    The girl on the right lives here in Atlanta she is a geek and also a fashion model. Her site is sithvixen.com

  5. j Says:

    Kitty Vader is a shop.
    And your stupidity made Fark.com.
    Congrats.

  6. Rea Maor Says:

    you REALLY don’t know how to take a joke eh ? :roll:

  7. Mackers Says:

    you REALLY don’t know how to make a joke eh ? :roll:

  8. Bobbit Monkey Says:

    FAIL

  9. Not impressed Says:

    Why all the homophobic jokes? It’s particularly unimpressive given your own self-confessed social marginality. Trying to dig yourself out of your social situation by stepping on other people is about the lowest of the low.

  10. Darks Farkswald Says:

    You fail at writing. Unless of course, you’re 14 years old, then this is okay for a teenager. If you’re an adult, STFU and GBTW dropping fries at McDs.

  11. Fullballz Says:

    Wow, people come out of the closet in the oddest of place, like their website for example, alot like you just did.

  12. Fullballz Says:

    ya I’m totally sure you meant it all as a joke, how odd that people tend to say that when they’ve been outted for being an idiot, JUST LIKE YOU JUST DID!. Wow telling the world you like cock and that you’re and idiot, all in one day!

  13. TuacaRockah Says:

    What a douche nozzle.

    Nuff said.

  14. Rea Maor Suxor Says:

    Too bad all of fark laughs at you now too

  15. Rea Maor Says:

    Well, according to my Stats, I’ve made nearly 140 USD from the fact Fark is laughing at me, if these carries on… well… you’re more than welcome to laugh your ass off. :mrgreen:

  16. Rea Maor Suxor Says:

    it will help pay for the therapy, maybe some creative writing classes, and . . . some wit hopefully.

  17. J. Jar Sharpton Says:

    Everyone knows that Jar Jar represents the intelligent African-American of the intergalatic community. Your offensive homophobic comments are frowned upon by the Galatic Negro Community. A written appology and a small donation to the GNC Fund would be appreciated and show your willingness to correct your mistakes.

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