Well, they finally came out with HTML5. Nice work and all that, but there’s room for improvement. Before this spec makes it into the standard browsers (and you know that will take five years at least!), is it too late to include these handy tags that would make our lives easier?
<whine> – For MySpace teens. You might as well.
<CWAJGA> – Stands for “Can’t We All Just get Along”. Instantly makes any web browser forget its petty wars with other web browsers and start doing its best to be as compatible as possible.
<whocares> – For long blog rants that mean a lot to the author and nothing to everybody else. Makes the section easy to skip.
<rel=”handwave”> – You know how when you make some outrageous claim and hyperlink it to a Wikipedia page that, in fact, does nothing to support your claim? That’s what this tag is for.
<SADC> – Stands for “Singing And Dancing Crap“. It’s about time we simply acknowledged that the more animated, noisy, flashing distractions there are on a page, the less of an actual point the page really has.
<a href danger!> – Shields up, Mr. Sulu! For linking to ad-happy, malware-infested, bandwidth-sucking sites. Saves you the trouble of saying “turn on your adblock, no-script, deflashifier, and set ‘view style’ to ‘none’… in fact, this is a good link to paste into Lynx.” every time you have to link to one of these ghettos.
<sarcasm> – Well, why not? People use this as a virtual tag every day in comment forums. Actual markup needs some kind of tag to tell the less keen reader, “Don’t take this literally, stupid!”
<31337> – Couldn’t we all use a tag to warn us that the poster is speaking in ‘leet-speak scritp-kiddie hash, and then we can set our browser to automatically translate it or ignore it at our whim? Alternate names can be <AOL>, <Yahoo>, or <MySpace>, but I digress…
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