Now hear this: From now on, Linux fans can just retire these tired old lines, because they have been officially declared to not work any more!
There aren’t any viruses or malware that run on Linux. Well, la de freaking da, there aren’t any games that run on Linux either, what’s your point? Coincidentally, no attempts have been made to break into the Porta-John at the construction site down the road, but many people have tried to break into banks. That proves that Porta-Johns have better security than banks!!!
Linux is free as in freedom, I mean free as in liberty, I mean free as in beer… Free as in speech, free as in butterflies, free as in cholera, free as in copies of Photoshop on PirateBay.org, etc. Hey, I have a bright idea: why don’t you just pick a new adjective that doesn’t have twenty meanings???
This license is freer than that one, no wait, Sun’s license is freer than BSD, no, wait, the GPL3 is freer than the GPL2, no it isn’t! If the license bothers you so much, just do what I do: as soon as you download the software, just delete the license and do what the hell you want with the software.
My system uptime is now 9 million millenia, 8 parsecs, and sixteen seconds! That’s about as long as the rest of us have had our earplugs in so we can’t hear you. Incidentally, some of us are too busy using our computers to worry about how many milliseconds they’ve been up.
If everyone who loves Linux contributes one dollar to our campaign to raise Linux awareness… Yes, we all heard about the Linux sponsorship of that car race in America. And we all saw the car with the alleged penguin sticker (a black and white blurry circle on the nose) crash…twice! Putting both drivers in the hospital! If there is anybody on the planet who had their opinion of Linux raised by this experiment, I have yet to see it. All we know from this is that Linux users can be just as pesky as Jehovah’s Witnesses and Amway salesmen.
Linux doesn’t have enough drivers, this company won’t support Linux, Microsoft is mean to Linux Well, Linux, you wanted to be a world-class operating system! Congratulations, here you are. Now quit whining about the exact same problems that every single other software company faces and just solve what you can. Microsoft, too, has issues with drivers. MacIntosh, too, has companies that won’t support them. BSD, also, has companies that won’t be nice to them. It’s called “business”. Sometimes, business is actually DIFFICULT! Sorry to bust your bubble.
Pssst… Did you enjoy slashing and hitting me on the Linux subject? Do you own IPod? Are you still trying to install a game on your G4? Slash me again on my latest article “Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Mac Users”
OR do what you’re best at, Slash Windows users at “Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Windows Users“
- Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Mac Users
- June is over, Long live July
- Why Does Linux Need Marketing?
- Hey Microsoft! Just Make Your Own Linux Distro!
- Tech Support’s Worst Nightmare Callers – Part Two