Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Linux Users

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Linux and Unix - Thursday, June 21st, 2007

Now hear this: From now on, Linux fans can just retire these tired old lines, because they have been officially declared to not work any more!

There aren’t any viruses or malware that run on Linux. Well, la de freaking da, there aren’t any games that run on Linux either, what’s your point? Coincidentally, no attempts have been made to break into the Porta-John at the construction site down the road, but many people have tried to break into banks. That proves that Porta-Johns have better security than banks!!!

Linux is free as in freedom, I mean free as in liberty, I mean free as in beer… Free as in speech, free as in butterflies, free as in cholera, free as in copies of Photoshop on PirateBay.org, etc. Hey, I have a bright idea: why don’t you just pick a new adjective that doesn’t have twenty meanings???

This license is freer than that one, no wait, Sun’s license is freer than BSD, no, wait, the GPL3 is freer than the GPL2, no it isn’t! If the license bothers you so much, just do what I do: as soon as you download the software, just delete the license and do what the hell you want with the software.

My system uptime is now 9 million millenia, 8 parsecs, and sixteen seconds! That’s about as long as the rest of us have had our earplugs in so we can’t hear you. Incidentally, some of us are too busy using our computers to worry about how many milliseconds they’ve been up.

If everyone who loves Linux contributes one dollar to our campaign to raise Linux awareness… Yes, we all heard about the Linux sponsorship of that car race in America. And we all saw the car with the alleged penguin sticker (a black and white blurry circle on the nose) crashtwice! Putting both drivers in the hospital! If there is anybody on the planet who had their opinion of Linux raised by this experiment, I have yet to see it. All we know from this is that Linux users can be just as pesky as Jehovah’s Witnesses and Amway salesmen.

Linux doesn’t have enough drivers, this company won’t support Linux, Microsoft is mean to Linux Well, Linux, you wanted to be a world-class operating system! Congratulations, here you are. Now quit whining about the exact same problems that every single other software company faces and just solve what you can. Microsoft, too, has issues with drivers. MacIntosh, too, has companies that won’t support them. BSD, also, has companies that won’t be nice to them. It’s called “business”. Sometimes, business is actually DIFFICULT! Sorry to bust your bubble.

Pssst… Did you enjoy slashing and hitting me on the Linux subject? Do you own IPod? Are you still trying to install a game on your G4? Slash me again on my latest article “Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Mac Users
OR do what you’re best at, Slash Windows users at “Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Windows Users


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89 Responses to “Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Linux Users”

  1. tuxr99 Says:

    GET A LIFE PEOPLE!!! IT’S A JOKE!!!!!!

  2. beep_different Says:

    Haha, not a single person who replied to this has a sense of humor.

    The #1 thing I’m tired of hearing from Linux users:

    Their stupid-ass comments on everyone’s blogs.

  3. Jay Says:

    “because too many people out there insist on staying with microshaft because they do not have the brains to do any better”

    Since when Linux is a measuring stick of one’s brain power? It is not a Rocket Science. If one is a dummy, learning Windows and MacOS would be a challenging too. πŸ™‚

    I guess I could add to the list: don’t tell me if your could learn to use Linux than everybody else can. Why would you use your own family as a yard stick of stupidity?

  4. Jay Says:

    It was supposed to say:
    “don

  5. Jay Says:

    “If you are so serious not to laugh of yourself, you really need to turn of the bloody computer and go out with friends, have some beer!”

    In order to be able to do that one needs real (not imaginary) friends.
    It is difficult to start a new friendship if you live your life by the book “Insulting Windows users for Dummies”. I cannot imagine a server closet queen getting new friends if the first question of the dialog is “What’s your name?” and the 2nd question is “Are you a Windows user?”. Mean joke, I know πŸ™‚

  6. Jay Says:

    Don

  7. danny ritchie Says:

    The comment that I made about people staying with microsoft because they do not have the brains to do any better ,was in response to a comment made from another(Linux is for geeks with small penises),I truly did not intend too offend any one ,I simply replied to what I thought was an unfair comment ! I think there is a little flaming going on both sides here.
    In the future I will try to choose my word more carefully ! Just for the record I have 3 girls and 1 son all of them prefer my linux boxes over my wifes Vista ,to say that a person has to be a geek with a small penis to use linux is not really a nice thing to say is it?

  8. pugfantus Says:

    Yeah… You’ve fallen into the age old StarWars Parsec Trap… Parsec is a unit of Distance, not Time… If you were a GNU/Linux User, you’d know that… πŸ˜‰

  9. danny ritchie Says:

    Again ,my comments were in response to a comment made that it takes a geek with a small penis to operate linux.
    It was not intended to offend you ! My kids like linux for the games,my wife was unhappy with Vista so she trashed it! She installed SuSe10.2 and she likes it!

  10. danny ritchie Says:

    Thats a good one , I will keep that in mind!

  11. Jay Says:

    I was not offended at all. πŸ™‚
    It is difficult to post here without some sense of humor.

    BTW: Suse 10.2 is also my distro of choice. But I don’t think it makes me any smarter πŸ™‚

  12. Comrade Smack Says:

    Wow. That was as harsh as it was idiotic.

    First of all, I never said Linux inherently costs money, I was referring to Stallman’s take on the whole deal. He did start the “free as in freedom” statement.

    Secure? I didn’t say that Linux was insecure, either. I stated that it wasn’t out-of-the-box secure. My point is still very valid that Linux is secureable, whereas Windows is not.

  13. danny ritchie Says:

    I agree with both points ! I also think it is fair to say that a lot of us linux users take things a little too serious!(I’ll have a beer now)
    I have had a lot of sleepless nights lately,been working on mastering the bash shell and the C programming language ,which I think is pretty tough for a high school dropout!
    If I seem a little hostile towards microsoft ,it’s because I grew up in a family that couldn’t afford a computer,It just seems to me that microsoft is only out for the big bucks,and what they have to offer is not really any better!
    thanks for the fun!

  14. danny ritchie Says:

    Yes,You’re right and I apologize ! I let one comment get under my skin and that was the comment about geeks with a small penis.
    It upset me because a lot of people actually do believe that it takes a geek to use linux(MY KIDS USE IT JUST FINE).
    I am always hearing from family,friends and sometimes even co-workers
    (all windows users) about how their computer has so many problems .
    usually I wind up fixing it for them,but as a rule they are still not happy ,they want something better !
    When I talk to the people about linux ,the first words out of their mouth is ,thats too hard or that is for geeks !
    where does this come from?

  15. TEST Says:

    Linux is difficult as far as Operating Systems are concerned. If you’re going to solve a small issue like a VPN, it’s considerably more difficult than in the Windows Environment.

    This is becoming less and less true as the years go forward, but Linux operates much differently than both Mac and Windows.

    Linux is designed at the command line, if you want to do anything you go there. If there are little things you want to do, sometimes it’s just easier to bust out the GUI (for example, text editing. vi makes men cry.)

    Windows is designed at the GUI If you want to do anything you must do it with with pictures and icons and, GASP, a mouse! If there are little things you want to do, bust out the command line (for example, directory browsing, file deletion..)

    The small penis comment was in regards to Uptime. It’s mildly important but not to the extent that quite a few “geeks with small penises” make it out to be.

  16. danny ritchie Says:

    I have to agree that windows is easier to use because of the fact that you hardly ever have to use the command line,I ‘m not sure that it is as efficient though!
    yes,the vi editor can be tough if you’re not used to it(no pictures,no icons),but I think it is worth the effort to learn.
    I don’t have much to say about the uptime issue because it is not really important unless you are running a server that cannot be down at all!

  17. Haos Says:

    This comment shows you have never seen what can you do with DOS….

  18. Haos Says:

    Why not?

  19. Haos Says:

    Vista requires quite a heavy hardware to show its capabilities. There is still SP1 to be issued. If Vista doesn`t please you, you can easily use XP prof or 2003, with even better effect.

    Vista isn`t perfect and still has years to mature, but ffs, most of whines against it are caused by using it on too weak equipment.

  20. danny ritchie Says:

    I,ve seen it ,but it can be done with linux too!

  21. Mimmus Says:

    Do you use WIn2003 as a personal desktop??? I’m speaking about enterprise servers, not PCs.
    My DB server with 20-25 Oracle instances, used by more than 200 users, is up since 250 days, when I had to shut it for maintenance of electrical equipment (not for problem to the server).

  22. danny ritchie Says:

    We are the collective,resistance is futile ,you will be assimilated!

  23. danny ritchie Says:

    It’s your choice,but why would you use windows if you are good with linux/unix?

  24. danny ritchie Says:

    Linux has more drivers than windows, we didn’t like vista so we tried to install XP
    on my wife’s computer ,guess what ,no compatible drivers!
    We installed SuSe 10.2 and Simply Mepis ,now we are just fine!

  25. danny ritchie Says:

    I respect your beliefs but I’d rather be able to make copies of my O.S ,and distribute it ,than to be forced against my will to pay for a license to use a product that I already paid for!
    All jokes aside ,if I pay $400 or $600 for something ,shouldn’t I be able to call it mine ?
    Uncle Bill has a great product ,just a screwed up way of way of selling it ,I guess the Russians were right when they said that communism would take the United States without firing a shot. I thought we ran away from England so we could be free!
    It is you’re choice free or not free!

  26. danny ritchie Says:

    I guess the average citizen is left out then ,not all of us have the money to pay the heavy price (thanks to the gun slinging President) for a system large enough to run Vista!

  27. danny ritchie Says:

    Since when do you own a blog ? This is America you Know,even though we have lost all most all of are rights(oops I better not say that , Bush’s goons will get me )we still have the right to speak out!
    does anybody in Russia have an extra room?

  28. Haos Says:

    Such system is more or less a standard rig right now…

  29. June is over, Long live July Says:

    […] I had a 3 part series, where I slashed all OS users: 1. Things We

  30. M?cz?ce argumenty u?ytkownik Says:

    […] T?umaczenie za zgod? autora, na podstawie: Things We

  31. Grshpr76 Says:

    :mrgreen: This is the entire argument i have had going with my uber-geek linux using husband since day ONE. πŸ˜† i feel better… not to say i have ever felt BAD.

  32. Alan the Great Says:

    You are an asshat. I use linux, and if there isn’t a driver for something I deal with it. It’s not the companie’s responsibility to provide free drivers for you. This is why people hate linux users.

  33. ejes Says:

    here we go.
    I have been a long time advocate for linux – and i really really really am disgusted by your entire rant.

    all of those are VALID, even if you don’t feel it’s so. how about you get your facts straight before you say anything?

    There are viruses/malware that target linuxes.. however it’s VERY difficult for any kind of attack to be successful. you comparing linux to a port-o-john is quite wrong. many MANY companies use linux as their primary web server due to the fact that it is very secure. I work for a bank, and yes, that’s what they use – so to use your line… yes, people are trying to break into this port-o-john, unsuccesfully, but your bank is empty.

    Linux is free – as in ALL of those things. it’s free in all ways that software can be free. the sourcecode is free (to modify and contribute as you see fit), it’s free to call what you want (linux, redhat, gentoo whatever) as in speech, it’s free to run, it’s free as in liberty, beer, speech, freedom, butterflys and free as in your pirated software. the difference between you going to pirate bay and downloading photochop, is that i’m allowed to own linux… you, on the other hand, are not allowed to own photoshop.

    yes, system uptime is a great way to measure how reliable a computer is… yes i know you’re too busy rebooting your computer to care how many milliseconds it’s been up… whatever, don’t get uptime envy – just get linux.

    linux users can be pesky, it’s true, but with reason. linux users are passionate about their system. and why not? and i really don’t see why you’d equate the drivers of the cars folly to the linux os, or those who use it? that’s like saying “you run windows – you must be a better driver than those linux users” use your head if you’re going to make a simile.

    i agree, linux should pressure companies to develop drivers for their operating system, just like microsoft pressures companies, just like mac, just like you… that’s called business… sorry to burst your bubble.

    learn a little; think for yourself; and don’t talk shit about shit you don’t know.

  34. Alan the Great Says:

    If I may chime in….

    The thing about linux is, you can do what you want. Many things you said I agree with, but I can see Rea’s point too.

    @Linux users should pressure companies for drivers:
    No, we shouldn’t. They are successful companies because they make money. Linux offers no money to them, so they direct their resources to other things.

    Many companies do, in fact, provide drivers for linux, for example ATi. This is because they see linux as a great system, and they can devote the resources to create drivers, at their expense.

    Also, if the hardware itself is any good, chances are someone’s already made a driver for it.

    In conclusion, the whole point of GNU/Linux is that it is an alternative to the 3 or 4 expensive systems. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to use it. If you like it, go ahead. Nobody asks anything in return.

  35. ejes Says:

    linux pressuring companies for drivers is not quite accurate, they pressure companies to release their api so that the community itself can write drivers, companies who refuse to give standards should give alternatives.
    linux is an emerging market, and a company who doesn’t produce linux drivers, nor releases api information will loose the linux market.
    producing drivers for windows systems does not in fact make them money, people using their product regardless of operating system are what make them money. development of drivers, is merely a courtesy that linux users should also be able to enjoy.

    yes ati does produce drivers for linux, so do many companies… and they do so BECAUSE linux community pressured them to do so – without a voice, nobody would be heard.

  36. Alan the Great Says:

    “producing drivers for windows systems does not in fact make them money, people using their product regardless of operating system are what make them money.”

    Right. And we all know how well hardware works without drivers. Windows being the most popular operating system, there is the most potential income in appealing to the Windows market.

    “and they do so BECAUSE linux community pressured them to do so – without a voice, nobody would be heard.”

    This I don’t agree with. Partly because of the ‘Linux community’ part, when ‘A linux community’ would be more accurate. The number of operating systems that use the Linux kernel is many, and there is no single community that I am aware of.

    Mostly, though, what I meant was that some companies either see Linux as a popular enough OS that it could provide a potential source of $$$, or because they think that Linux users shouldn’t be left to make their own drivers. Either way, these companies are great and there should be more of them. And any company that won’t release their api doesn’t need my business anyways.

    Basically my little rant was based on the fact that writing a Linux driver is not the responsibility of anyone who doesn’t want to. It would be like boycotting a fancy restaurant for not providing ketchup– some people like it, but mostly it wouldn’t even be used.

  37. A dude Says:

    Heh, I’ve been guilty of many of these things πŸ™‚

  38. jj Says:

    Damn good analysis and right on. I use Linux and have been for 13 years. But I also still use other OS’s on old but still usefull hardware; such as DOS, Windows (all), BSD, etc… The good thing about a PC, it will always do what it did when you bought/built it, as long as you don’t get caught up in the bigger/better/smaller/upgrade traps. And yes, all my systems are secure enough for what I do with them.
    Here’s a late thank-you for a fun read.

  39. Quack Says:

    This is all as big a joke as my email. Up-time, I have seen a windows server that stayed up for 2 years. If you don’t have a need to do updates, you don’t have to – Linux puts out tons of updates, if you don’t choose to load them that is up to you… but don’t be so crazy to think they are not created for a reason for either OS. Oh, by the way there are more than Linux and Window operating systems, some that I would argue are more secure than either, but some are more expensive than the normal user can afford as well, while others have faded away because just like beta tapes – good technology does not make for the best sales. As for FREE … why do they keep hitting us up with different reasons to donate, purchase support, etc… Because somewhere someone still wants some money. Linux stumbles along, because of Open source, but ultimately business is not going to trust code that has not been certified, which is why they pay for it. i.e. would you want a driver developed by a possible terrorist or one developed and tested by a reputable company.

    And if you got time to make your own drivers etc… then maybe you should make the next best OS

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