Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Windows Users

Posted by: Rea Maor In: Microsoft and Windows - Saturday, June 23rd, 2007

Now, I’ve had at the Linux users and the Mac users… who else? There’s somebody I forgot… They must be many in number, because they sure are the most vocal group… Ah, yes, the Windows users! Your turn:

I’ve got games! BWAH-HA-HA-HAAA! See, that was impressive for about five minutes. Then we realize that this is 2007, and our cell phones have games. Our Wiis, PS3s, and XBox 360s have games. Any system capable of driving a web browser has games, thanks to the miracle of Java, Flash, and Javascript. Our digital watches have games. If you get satellite TV, it has games, now! My girlfriend has games! The thing is, not all of us are going to spend $1000+ on a box that will be used as a Nintendo. We just buy the Nintendo for one-forth of the price.

Bill Gates brought computers to the world. Oh, Lord save us from the ignorance of the Windows platform. In operating system history, Microsoft Windows is the youngest, I repeat youngest surviving commercial operating system. Even OS/2 was started first.

Sure, Bill Gates is a millionaire, but he worked hard for it! Yes, if by “worked hard for it” you mean “was born to the right person”. His family was wealthy. His father was a prominent lawyer. His mother served on the board of directors for First Interstate Bank. His grandfather, J. W. Maxwell, was a national bank president. His real name is “William Henry Gates III”. He had a trust fund. His sole work, co-authored with Paul Allen, was a BASIC interpreter for the Altair 8800. The very next thing his newly-founded company did was buy a license to QDOS and rename it MS-DOS, and they’ve done nothing but buy out and resell technology and hire talent ever since. The average MySpace member puts more code into a page than Bill Gates ever typed in his life – and that’s counting DONKEY.BAS.

Bill Gates is such a philanthropist! Worship, worship, worship! Yes, I’m sure you’re bowled over when he plugs in ten new computers running Windows at a school. You do know that his personal fortune lies around $57 billion, and he has stood for a number of years as the richest person in the entire, round world, as told by Forbes magazine? Hey, if every Windows user downloaded a free operating system and donated the entire price of Windows to their favorite charity, instead of filtering the money through somebody who gives 0.001% back, how much good would that do in the world?

Windows isn’t that bad! This is more of a knee-jerk response. Yes, Windows does have security and stability issues, and what harm is admitting it going to do? It isn’t like 90% of the world doesn’t use Windows or something. Why so defensive? We’ll all still use Windows no matter how much it sucks. We’ll all still use Windows after it grows tentacles and slithers out of our computers and prowls around our houses at night eating the cats and piddling on the carpet.

The total cost of Windows server is actually cheaper than the equivalent free blah blah blah… That’s because you only count the shelf price of Windows but for Linux you count the bandwidth to download it, the entire annual payroll of the IT staff to run it, every computer you bought to run it on, the electric bill in the server room, the fluorescent light bulbs, the paint on the walls, the coffee, the company picnic, and the pony that the CEO bought his daughter for Christmas.

So, that’s been our little round-up. Now everybody knows what things it is that they’ve said one too many times. I do hope we can all agree that we’ve ridden each system with equal hardness, and the responses will determine which user base has the best sense of humor!

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15 Responses to “Things We’re Tired of Hearing from Windows Users”

  1. Things We're Tired of Hearing from Linux Users Says:

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  5. Jacob Whail Says:

    Things we’re tired of hearing from Mac/Apple/OSX/i(fill in the blank)

    1. Steve Jobs – he got fired for christ sake
    2. i ANYTHING – take about running it into the ground
    3. Windows – all you Mac/Apple people do is talk about Windows, don’t you have anything else better to talk about?

  6. John Says:

    What you’re not including other operating systems? Come on how about some of the rest…

  7. danny ritchie Says:

    The name Microsoft! monopolistic policies!

  8. danny ritchie Says:

    I happen to like the mac os although I use linux ,I do not feel that Steve Jobs is a monopolist like uncle bill! I wish mac the best of luck and I hope that they do well in the future.
    I would like to hear a little less linux bashing but I also understand that the majority of this is coming from the other group!

  9. danny ritchie Says:

    I spend a lot of my time fixing computers for friends and family ,most of these are windows systems .
    I hear a lot of complaining,most of the time the fix is easy but the complaint is always the same(My computer doesn’t work and I don’t know why)or (My computer is too slow what do I do?)
    If I had all of these problems I’d find something different to use ,but even that is something that is out of the question for most of them,somehow these people actually believe that there is no alternative(unless they become a geek with a small penis)there are alternatives !
    If you do not like what you bought try something different or get used to it!

  10. Haos Says:

    Lets start a flamewar! 👿

  11. danny ritchie Says:

    No-flamewar -bad-humor-good!

  12. Sarah Says:

    Good greif. C’mmon. We all know that Windows/OS X/Linux/OS/2/PCDOS/MSDOS/DRDOS what ever is superior to all the others.

    People who care enough about the respective operating systems to write blog articles are themselves no more or less a troll than someone appearing on a Fark thread and saying the same.

    The fact you’ve done one for each of the three big players suggests you need to get out of the server room and actually get some sun. It’s a wonderful world out there and who gives a shit about computers anyway?

  13. Timmeh Says:

    The “We’ve got games” thing applies regardless.

    Really, You wanna play on your ps3? Go for it, thats 600$ worth of a fire hazard. You wanna play on your linux box? go write your own drivers. You wanna play on a mac? Lawl, go to hell. You wanna play on a Nintendo? go for it, let me know how the FPS plays with wiimotes (I personally don’t like it at all).

    The truth is that most gamers own windows machines, because windows has the best support for the best games for the “hardcore” market. So while you all may be tired of hearing it, don’t compare java games, and sports games to quality FPS games.

    The rest of those points are totally valid, and windows is a giant piece of shit.

    I don’t hate large corporations, I don’t think Bill Gates is a giant thieving asswipe, and windows does not crash ever.

    I am not Sarcastic, in the slightest.


  14. dollarstorepottedmeat Says:

    Regarding the .0001 percent that Gates gives back…. the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation has an endowment of 33 billion dollars. Bill Gates has given more money to charity than any other individual in recorded history.

  15. ejes Says:

    Games support will come to linux, give it time.

    Gates can afford to give more than he’s given, and to think that he and melinda giving 33 billion dollars is “goodness of their own heart” think again!

    1) most of that money was given in “microsoft’s” name, not their own, it didn’t come from their pocket, it came from their poor employees pockets, slaving away for a minimal salary.

    2) gates and (to a lesser degree) microsoft received a very good tax shelter for donating this money, if it didn’t profit him at all, he wouldn’t have done it. otherwise he’d hire on the inventor of QDOS, instead of just purchasing the rights and nameing it his own. the same goes for XEROX Xwindows. they didn’t do this for “love” or “goodness” or “kindness” or to be “charitable” they did it because it profited them.


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